One of them may have the best sense of humor; the other may be incredibly witty and smart. The root cause of all that self-consciousness is that toxic masculinity garbage that makes us believe the taller you are, the "manlier" you are, and the better you are. We've been married five years and he's still the most amazing person I know! How does the girl you see casually feel about all this? But as we sat with our drinks, talking, I could tell that he thought there was still room to develop our relationship.
You aren't that serious about either of them.
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You don't want to miss out on amazing opportunities because you're trying to play it cool. And yet You wanted to have your cake and eat it, too. Instead, I've had a relationship with the same, incredible lady for six years and it has helped me become immeasurably more comfortable with myself. He hesitated to admit it, perhaps feeling the need to defend this lifestyle and its quirks.